Honesty

I have been reading a lot about blogging lately. One of the things experienced bloggers talk about is that the blogger has to be authentic if they want readers to engage with the blog.

I do a lot of research about salsa and dancing. I use it to learn. But I realized I didn't want my blog to just be a report on what new thing about salsa I found on the internet that day. This blog is called a "Journey" and that is what it is. A chronicle of my journey.

I wonder why anyone would want to read about white woman's amateur dance experience in the salsa world. Edie the Salsa Freak was able to capture a lot of admiration with her website. But I am not her. I am never going to win the Mayan Dance Competition. Honestly, I do want readers. I am not 100% sure why I need to write this blog. And, I have long been accused in my life of "wearing my heart on my sleeve," and that I need to stop that and protect myself more. But I figure there must be something positive I can bring to others by writing, honestly and authentically, about my journey in the salsa dance world. So I'll try. I can always end the blog. It's mine, after all.

This dance has brought me the entire range of human emotion as I have struggled through it. I have felt anger, competitiveness, embarrassment, and even shame at times because of this dance. But I have also felt inspiration, joy, love, connection, compassion, honor, and community because of this dance.

Last year, I went to the Connecticut Salsa Congress. One afternoon, I walked into the Bachata room. Everyone was dancing Bachata. I guess I was struck with what some type of Buddhist "moment of clarity" (there is an actual term for this, but I don't know what it is) because I saw, in one room, 10 year old children dancing next to a 70+ year old couple. I saw white couples dancing next to black couples, who were dancing next to an asian couple, them next to a spanish couple. I saw more couples, mixed couples, young with old, white with spanish, asian with black, on and on. I saw tough looking 20-somethings dancing next to frail old women. Everyone was feeling happiness and joy. Everyone was in the moment. Everyone felt safe. I could see it and feel it.

I not totally naive. Jeez, I am a lawyer for pete's sake. I am supposed to be a n argumentative, cynical, person for a living. I know that anger, and even violence, erupt in connection with salsa and salsa events. And I guess this is part of the journey, too.

But sometimes, many times, differences are set aside, for a few minutes, and all the people present live in joy and community. This really happens. It's palpable. It brought tears to my eyes. Was anyone else feeling this? At least so intently? Yeah, probably I am a little crazy.

So, after lots of struggle and soul searching and mistakes about everything with this dance, I hope I have found a way I can bring it into my life in a healthy way. I need to focus on the inspiration and the community. I have been given gifts of musical training, good dance teachers, and intelligence and this is my unique experience. No matter how long a break I take, I am always pulled back into this dance. And this is what my Journey is about.